Paratactic sequences of clauses allow a writer
multiple foci of
information
and multiple themes, as in juxtaposed or coordinated clauses. The paratactic arrangement of the
three clauses below allows the writer to create a cohesive discourse by establishing a topic of discourse in the first
clause through end-focus and then to use repetitive and pronominal themes in the second and third clauses to maintain
textual cohesion. Paratactic linear order signals a semantic equality of foci.
Schematically, such a pattern of
theme (Th) and
focus (F) in each clause (C) in would look like:
NOTE: Themes are highlighted in blue; foci in red.
C=clause, Th=theme, F=focus.
C1 [(Th1)Now for some of (F1)our
measurements]
C2 [(Th2)Within the 20 largest oil companies, we rank (F2)16th in gasoline sales, 17th in distillate sales, and 18th in refining capacity]
C3 [(Th3)We are recognized as (F3)a "major"
oil company by many].
from Rivers (1980)
Hypotactic sequences allow a writer to arrange the foci of information and
themes hierarchically, as in the subordination of clauses of different kinds. The writer can arrange foci and themes to
express information priorities, i.e., which elements seem relatively more important for effective communication and are
hence foregrounded through end-focus, while other elements seem relatively less important for effective communication
at this point in the discourse and so are backgrounded as themes. Schematically again, notice the distribution of theme
and focus in each clause below:
Sentence 1:
C1[(Th1)This kind of stylistic criticism has two modes:
(F1) analytic and normative]
Sentence 2:
C1[(Th1)The analytic critic (F1)assumes C2[(Th2)that the best possible text is
(F2)the one before him] and C3[(Th3)that his
only task (F3)is C4[(Th4)to (F4)explain C5[(Th5)why the text (F5)is C6[(Th6)as it (F6)is]]]]]
Sentence 3:
C1[(Th1)On the other hand, the normative critic (F1)assumes C2[(Th2)that the writer could have missed
(F2)his intention and then explain C3[(Th3)where the writer (F3)failed C4[(Th4)to match his language to his (F4)ideas]]]]
Sentence 4:
C1[(Th1)C2[(Th2)Which form
of criticism we (F2)choose] is determined
(F1) more by the fame or obscurity of an author than by the intrinsic quality of a
text].
from Williams (1985)
Again, notice that the first sentence establishes a topic for this text through end focus on
analytic and
normative, and many of the text's themes serve a connective function. But notice also that the subordination in
the clauses allows the writer to create a hierarchy of both themes and foci of information, frequently
backgrounding
old, presupposed, known information through the themes while
foregrounding the new, unpredictable information
through end-focus, as in the use of the correlative conjunction
more by fame ... than by the intrinsic quality
of the text.
Consider this passage below from a FYC (beginning) student next.
However there were some negative experiences which I encountered. Some of the negative experiences were the
inability of the foster parents to attempt to understand many of the needs of these foster children. In my opinion,
many of the parents living with these children need councelling or family councelling between the children and the
foster parents in order to alleviate many of the lack of communications which where revealed which
councelling some of these children such as lack of empathies listening from the parent's lack of support, in many of
these children's problems which often would cause the child to give other forms of substitution, many of
which were relating to some criminal tendancies such as petty theft, lack of interest in school studies, lack of
modivation in general, a general feeling of not being loved and understood, which often was revealed to the
counselor.
A schematic presentation of the last sentence demonstrates a particular difficulty more dramatically.
| |
Table 2: Schematic presentation of the last sentence in the
passage above
|
MAIN CLAUSE
|
| Adverbial |
Subject |
Verb |
Object |
| (Th1)In my opinion |
many of the parents living with these children |
need |
(F1)councelling or family
councelling... |
INFINITIVE SUBORDINATE CLAUSE
|
| |
Subordinator |
Verb |
Object |
| |
(Th2)in order |
to alleviate |
many of the lack of (F2)communications |
| RELATIVE CLAUSE A |
(Th3)which were (F3)revealed |
| RELATIVE CLAUSE B |
(Th4)which councelling some of
these children...in many of the children's (F4)problems |
| RELATIVE CLAUSE C |
(Th5)which often would cause a
child to give other forms of (F5)substitution |
| RELATIVE CLAUSE D |
(Th6)many of which were relating
to some criminal (F6)tendancies... |
| RELATIVE CLAUSE E |
(Th7)which often was revealed to
the (F7)counselor. |
|
The information flow, the given-new contract, is interrupted. Reinterpreted. This FYC writer seems to understand the
principle of end-weight (i.e., focus), and uses it to concentrate his/her message —
councelling or family councelling... communications revealed
problems — F1+F2+F3+F4.
Patterns similar to this occur regularly in the writing of beginning FYC students, and only a close reading of the
texts can detect them. This is what I meant by
STYLISTIC MOTIVATION
Many stylistic errors in college compositions originate through the indeterminacy of clausal relations; this
relationship between indeterminacy and style is a developmental phenomenon, evidenced by comparing the work of early
FYC writers, to the work of students at the end of FYC, students at the end at the end of their undergraduate degrees
(as in the MICUSP data), to graduate students (MICUSP again), to published academic writers (COCA).